Whoops
by Animedrawngirl
Summary: Roy is all alone waiting for his little blonde lover to come home. He suddenly feels a little horny. Horny and drunk, he makes a BAD decision. This one should have you laughing your ass off at the "Real Sex" experience.


Whoops One Shot

Roy plopped down on the couch in the front room. The house was quiet. He had just come home from work. There was no food cooking, the bathtub was not full of hot water to wash up before dinner, and most importantly there was no Edward. His little blonde lover was gone for the week. He had gone back to Rismbool to visit his brother for a while.

The raven haired man looked around the room. The side table on the other side of the couch had the newest alchemy scientist magazine laying on it. It had just come two days ago. Normally his blonde lover would have plopped down on the couch, curled up against Roy's chest, and devoured the information then spend the next hour criticizing the research progress and obvious ideas. But the magazine laid untouched on the table. Roy's chest didn't have the warmth and pressure of the little blonde's head on it, and the criticism was left unsaid.

The blinds where drawn because Roy didn't feel like letting in the light. Ed was his sunshine and with out him his life seemed dark. He laid back against the armrest and stared at the ceiling. The ceiling was a bright color of red, just like Ed's jacket. Mustang picked up a cushion from the couch and threw it at the ceiling as he turned away from it. He looked at the fire place. Burnt wood was still in it. Just last week he and Ed sat in front of the fire place and roasted hotdogs while laughing at jokes and bitching over life.

Mustang growled and flipped onto his stomach and planted his head into the couch. He took a deep breath and noticed a lingering scent of his lover. The faint smell of almond, sweat and cum wafted up the colonel's nostrils. Roy groaned. Everything in his house reminded him of his missing lover.

His lonely mind flicked back to the week before. Right before Ed had left, Roy had mounted him and drove the younger crazy. They had sex right there on the couch before Ed left. A small tear rolled down his cheek and was absorbed into the material.

His lovers red face and loud moaning remained in his mind. How long had it been since they had sex? Roy groaned out again as he realized it had been six very long days since he and his lover connected in their own special way. He grabbed his third beer off his side table and downed the rest of it.

He looked down at his crotch as he recognized a pleasant warmth building inside him. The memory of that last romp with Ed seemed to had made him hard. Roy groaned yet again. "Edward's not here! How do I relieve myself when he isn't here? My hand? That's nothing compared to his wonderful tight ass and his expressions!" Roy mopped. His gaze fell on his empty beer bottle. It wasn't Ed, but if he closed his eyes, it might feel like him…

Roy grabbed the small bottle of lube he kept on his side table and unzipped his pants. He poured a large bead of the liquid onto his fingers and stroked himself. He moaned out as his slow moving hand tried hard to feel like Ed's tiny little fingers. He threw the bottle across the floor when he figured out that he couldn't make it feel near as good as Ed did.

The brown bottle was snatched up off the table. Roy leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He slid the tip of his head into the bottle. So far, it didn't feel like his blonde lover. It didn't make noises like the little blonde. He pushed in even further. It wasn't a pleasurable as he thought it would be. "Of coarse not. Stupid beer." He tried to take his dick out of the bottle to finish up using his hand.

The brown glass held strong to his dick. He looked down and realized his heat had swollen up a bit and was stuck. He jumped up and looked around the room in a panic. He searched around for something to use. Mustang couldn't find anything that would help. He grasped the bottle and tugged at it again. He yelped and fell onto the couch in pain. "FUCK!" He screamed.

A knock on the door scared the raven haired man. He panicked and zipped up the loose military slacks up. He sat back into the couch and grabbed a book and kept it on his lap, then yelled at the door. "Who is it?"

The knob turned and sweet poured down the colonel's face. His mind raced through all the ideas and excuses he could make if asked about it. He stared at the slowly opening door.

"I'm home Roy!" Said a tan blonde. Edward walked into the room and pulled his suitcase through the door after him. He shut the door and put down his suitcase. He turned around and looked around the house. He found his lover on the couch reading a book.

"EDWARD! YOU'RE HOME!" Roy gasped as he saw his blonde lover walk over to him. "I thought you were gone until tomorrow!" Roy panicked. What would his lover say?

Ed grabbed the book out of Roy's hands, set it down on the table, and hugged the older man. Edward chuckled lightly into Mustang's ear while he held back a loud groan from the pain. "Are you happy to see me?" Ed asked suggestively. His small hands went down to the older man's crotch. Roy yelped in pain as soon has his hands touched and jogged the bottle. "WHAT! Are you okay?" Ed jumped back and looked Roy over.

"That hurt!" Roy groaned as he hunched over. 'This is what I get for not waiting' thought Roy.

"What's wrong, Roy?" Ed looked Mustang in the face with genuine concern. His gaze went to the man's crotch and noticed a weird shape. "What's wrong?" He asked again as his hands gently unzipped the blue slacks.

The colonel groaned. "Please don't laugh." His face lit up red and his hands balled up into fists as he clutched the couch cushions.

Edward pulled out the brown beer bottle and jumped as Roy yelped out in pain. He looked closer and saw that his lover's member was lodged in the bottle. His golden eyes grew wide and he looked at Mustang. "…did you miss me this much?" Ed said, since nothing else seemed to do it justice.

"It was a drunken mistake!" Roy snapped as he resituated his self. He sighed. "Can you just help me think of a way to get it off?" The colonel's voice was soft a pleading. Edward looked down at his lover. The man that was usually strong, arrogant, and self absorbed, was now in front of him in pain, in an odd situation, and was pleading for help.

"I think I can get it off." Ed got on his knees and placed his left hand on the colonel's knee to support himself. He gently held the bottle in his right hand and moved it a bit. He brought his mouth up to the pulsing, swollen length. "I can't believe you did this." Ed said. His tongue flicked out of his mouth and lapped at the skin and the rim of the bottle.

Roy moaned then groaned as he felt Ed's hand wiggle the bottle slightly. The little lover went to work lapping and licking the raven haired man's member all over. Mustang let the pleasure wash over him and he closed his eyes. "This hurts." He wined.

"Well, this is all I can think of." Ed retorted. He lapped around the bottle rim again and wiggled it a bit. The glass gave a way and Mustang's dick was released. The older moaned out. The fresh air hit his sensitive length.

"Thank you Ed! Thank you!" Roy said as his hands went down to comfort his pained heat. Edward grabbed his hands before he could touch himself. His golden eyes looked mischievously up at the older.

"I'm not done yet." Ed held onto his lover's hands just to make sure he didn't stop his lover. Edward took the twitching member in his mouth and gently lapped at the salty skin. He twirled his tongue around Roy's head and licked at the blue vein.

Mustang moaned out his praises. The pleasure now fully engulfed the poor guy. The heat built up rapidly in his lower stomach.

Ed took his lover's heat deeper. Roy felt the head of his heat push against the back of Edward's throat. He moaned out deeply. The little blonde sucked and licked at the abused member.

Roy let out a loud moan of Edward's name as he spilled his hot seed down his lover's throat. Roy laid back against the couch and panted as he slowly collected himself.

Ed sat down next to the colonel. He leaned against his chest that was rising and falling rapidly. "Next time you want to surprise me, how about doing the laundry?" Roy's gaze fell on the over flowing basket of dirty cloths by the small closet sized laundry room.


End file.
